Those were roughly the proportions of the apres-golf chat in the bar at Temple after today’s game. They were probably roughly the same during the truncated round of golf as well. It would be nice to imagine a time when this is not the case but one does suspect that that will be only when none of us are still playing.
Originally there were 10 Ballbashers signed up to play and Mike had booked a fleet of 4 buggies to convey the halt and lame around the course. Sadly a massive deluge at about 8.30am put paid to any use of buggies and we arrived in the Pro’s Shop just as the Head Greenkeeper was explaining this decision. That immediately ruled out Nick (dodgy knee), JohnH (??), MikeS (dodgy knee), JohnT (dodgy this and that) and Alan (stayed in bed).
The remaining 5, which included one relatively fit member in the person of Stuart and four halt and lame, MikeW, Roger, Bill and myself, decided that we might attempt 12 holes given the weather had turned out nice. The balls were virtually dropped i.e. not dropped at all to avoid the problem of picking them up, and Stuart and Mike despatched on their way followed by Roger, Bill and myself.
We found that the course was in stunning condition despite the rain and the attentions of the vandals, and it was a very good day for golf. I thoroughly enjoyed the lob wedge which bounced once and went into the 2nd hole for a par and I imagine that Stuart had equal entertainment from his chip into the 11th hole for a birdie. These are the small pleasures which occur so infrequently at golf but which keep us coming back to beat ourselves up on the golf courses of the world.
On the 11th we were joined by Pete accompanied by a white bouncy object covered in fur. Bill endeavoured to get said white bouncy object to take his next 3-wood shot as he reckoned it could only be an improvement on his own recent efforts. The white bouncy object sensibly decided that it wanted nothing to do with Bill’s 3-wood and Bill was left to get on with it with the predictable results. Having said that, a cunningly thinned approach shot worked out very well and he picked up 2 points.
Roger retired after 11 holes, possibly because he had spotted a greenkeeper in a buggy lurking behind the 1st green which was very adjacent, and who he cunningly persuaded or bribed to give him a lift back up to the top of the hill from where he departed Temple for a hot bath.
Bill and I completed the 12th and took on Heart Attack Hill to get back to the clubhouse and, travelling at about 0.5mph managed to reach the top and make it into the bar.
MikeS joined us for the normal excellent Temple fare and we all managed to get several additional entries into our I-Spy Book of Medical Conditions as the meal progressed.
As far as Autumn League scoring was concerned, Stuart had had an excellent 12 holes to score 30 points, (I was quite happy with my 27 points up to that point), Mike W had 25, Bill 17 and Roger 16.
Stuart and Mike had scored something in the region of 24 + 8 = 32 points to beat our 21 + 6 = 27 and thereby claim all of the BashCoins.
Happy Days!
I thought it only fair to publish Alan’s response to my report:
“I noted my reputation for going out in all weathers was seriously undermined in your report on yesterday’s golf.
First of all I am pretty sure I withdrew my name some days in advance . Secondly I did not stay in bed. I had breakfast with a 6 year old grandson and then took him to school. Maureen and I then headed with non- golfing friends to the Paul Cezanne exhibition at the Tate Modern. In passing I would note that apparently no cultural conversation took place apres golf! Nor did we leave the exhibition two thirds of the way round!!!
Alan”