As a follow-up to last week when my right shin came into contact with an errant golf ball with painful results, I determined this week to keep well out of harm’s way by endeavouring to stand at least level with or, more sensibly, behind any of my playing partners about to strike the ball (although it did occur to me that the safest place to stand when playing with my fellow Ballbashers is in the dead centre of the fairway ahead of the ball-striker). I managed to successfully concentrate on this strategy for 14 holes. But the 15th hole found my concentration fading and both my and Alan’s balls at the back of the green, we both having thinned our approaches from way out.
Alan’s ball was furthest off the green and the pin was right at the opposite end so he elected to chip his ball. I was going to putt mine and was standing relaxing in front of Alan and to the left of his line. Little did I realise that he would build in the possibility of an Eiger-like right to left camber on the green until the ball whistled past my midriff about 2 feet away – I am beginning to harbour conspiracy theories.
Last week I also mentioned that Bill had decided not to play because he was playing what he described as Sh**ty Golf which was not suited to the hallowed turf of Temple and was a general let-down for his playing partners in terms of winning BashCoins. He turned out to play this week and, despite his profuse apologies to any prospective partners in advance of the game, the day transpired to be a triumph for Sh**ty Golf.
Other forms of golf favoured by Ballbashers include Duffer Golf whereby you duff one shot per hole which is guaranteed to do your head in as the phrase goes, especially if it’s after a good drive. Another form which was favoured by Alan today, is ZigZag Golf whereby you hit the first shot into the rough off the left-hand side of the fairway and then the second flies across the fairway into the right-hand rough from where you conjure a miraculous recovery shot into the rough on the left-hand side and so it goes on. This is a very popular with the greenkeepers in that the fairway itself stays in pristine condition.
MikeW and I, who were playing with Alan today, enjoyed another form of Ballbasher golf known as 3Putt Golf – to be fair we occasionally went for the more esoteric version known as 4Putt. In this version, you successfully negotiate all of the hazards en-route to the green and then no matter where your ball comes to rest relative to the hole, be it 4 or 40 feet away, you take at least 3 or possibly 4 putts – this is also very irritating and was made especially so in my case as I tended to alternate 1Putt golf with 3Putt golf.
There were a 2024 record number of 10 Ballbashers out playing today despite the chilly breeze. The balls had fallen so that MikeW, Alan and I were a team, MikeS, RobM and JohnS were the second group and they were followed by a double buggy combo of Roger and Bill, and Peter and RobA. It was great to see Roger back on the course after so many months out injured. It did worry me at one point that the balls had fallen so that the Ballbashers with the least recent golf were all partnered together at the back in the buggies. This turned out to be a very foolish concern.
After 18 very pleasant holes of golf in which we practised all of the aforementioned forms of Ballbasher golf we retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Stuart and PeteF for lunch making 12 Ballbashers in total – a great turnout.
When the team scores were announced and subsequently audited, we found that, in an incredibly tight finish, all of the BashCoins had been shared by the 2 pairs of buggy riders, once gain underlining Nick’s assertion that lack of practice is a good strategy:
MikeW, Alan and Richard 19 + 17 = 36
MikeS, JohnS and RobM 20 + 16 = 36
Bill and Roger 21 + 16 = 37 (front 9 and overall)
PeterR and RobA 19 + 18 = 37 (back 9 and overall)
As far as the Summer League goes the individual scores were:
Richard and Peter R (34), Bill and JohnS (30), MikeS and MikeW (29), Roger (27), RobM (26), RobA (24), Alan (21)
We wish Bill well with his cataract operations over the next 2 weeks and hope to see him back on the course demonstrating the power of Sh**ty Golf in 4 weeks time.
