It was time to break up for Xmas yesterday at Temple. And on the last day of term only 3 pupils out of 16 turned out for the final period of games. The weather was perfect and the course was in excellent condition so no chance of getting chapped knees or of aggravating the chilblains accrued in the recent cold snap.
Bill, who was one of the hardy 3, arrived declaring that he felt totally dire. The sympathy felt by MikeW and myself, based on knowing that Bill has more than one ongoing affliction, rapidly evaporated when when we discovered that Bill had been celebrating end of term the previous evening in a well-known establishment in Marlow High St, where he had felt duty-bound to test out the quality of the whisky on offer, and had, as a result, a monumental hangover.
Mike and I declared ourselves, in this respect at least, to be as pure as the driven snow and were able to point Bill in the direction of Marlow Church before he drove off the 1st. We could n’t do much about the actual direction his ball went in which was more towards Wargrave but his second shot put him on the right track and off we went for a very jolly round of golf.
Others of the class would have joined us I know, had wheelchairs or buggies been allowed but the risk of a capsize, with the attendant requirement to bring in a mobile crane, was deemed too great by the powers-that-be.
As it was the last Autumn League game, we played a straight Stableford format, happy in the knowledge that with only three of us out there, we were bound to score a minimum of 4 points in the league however badly we played. But, by-and-large, we did n’t play too badly.
I was helped by having to nurse a pulled muscle (not actually sure that it is a muscle as any that I did have seem to be disappearing) in the lower side of my back – I was going to write lower backside but that was anatomically incorrect. To this end I attempted to slow my swing down to about 1 mph and, as long as I did n’t allow my concentration drift towards Xmas lists on the downswing, I found the results very beneficial and reached 18 relatively pain-free points on the front 9 which included a gratifying birdie on the 4th.
Mike had 16 – the highlight of his front 9 being a truly thunderous drive out of sight way down the 4th fairway. And Bill had 12, the latter probably influenced by the difficulty of focussing on putting through a whisky-induced haze.
Bill’s concentration on the back 9 was disrupted by several phone calls from his doctor – by the time Bill had remembered where he had put the phone and retrieved it, the doctor had rung off. I imagine that the doctor was wanting Bill to try another patent hangover cure.
When we reached the 18th green we found MikeS there practicing his putting and we all retired into the clubhouse. Once there we were joined by 4 others who had skipped games, presumably to enjoy some nefarious activities involving sniffing or smoking behind the bike sheds. Over the excellent Turkey BLTs, conversation turned to the exciting events planned for the spring term – at least one knee replacement, an ablation, some sort of hip repair and a cataract operation were amongst the jollifications to be looked forward to amongst the assembled crowd – given that we are being advised not to step outside the front door in case we graze a finger on the lock and need to call 999, these plans all seem very ambitious to me but hope springs eternal.
As for the golf, I finished with 34 which was sufficient to win on the day and thereby win the Autumn League. MikeW had 28 and Bill rather less.
Happy Xmas one and all – here’s to some Happy Ballbashing on the other side.
