Of that, more anon. Nine Ballbashers eventually assembled at Temple to compete for the much-coveted Ice Bucket. The thing about the Ice Bucket is that it is large, very large – virtually unmissable when standing on the mantlepiece hiding the family photographs – a visitor is bound to ask how this thing of silvery beauty was won, which provides a golden opportunity to give them the full 18 holes, probably only take 30 minutes or so at a fast lick and they are duty-bound to enjoy the tale and applaud at the right intervals.
The day dawned bright and frosty with very little wind and 9 divided very neatly into 3 teams of 3 – perfect numbers for the team competition with best 2 out 3 to count.
The first game of the New Year marked our return to the trusty old Ballbasher Handicapping System – no more being confused by the new-fangled WHS – it was n’t broke so we decided not to fix it. I met Stuart in the car park on the way in and he had wanted to place a bet with me on how many BBs would ask how they were now supposed to look up their handicap on the Board outside the clubhouse. Knowing the BB’s grip on such matters, I had declined to accept any wager – a wise decision as it turned out, as at least 3 asked that question and about 5 others raised questions of similar ilk including 2 who had pre-registered their round into the WHS. One is sometimes to think the Ballbashers resemble a super-tanker in that once they are heading in a particular direction, it takes more than the length of the Solent to effect any alteration in course.
But handicaps for the day were eventually taken on board, the balls thrown and teams selected. Leading off were Ashley, MikeS and RobM. They were followed by Bill, JohnS and RobA who were in turn followed by Roger, Stuart and myself.
As a team we all drove off quite well and momentarily thought that 2022 was going to see some real improvements in our golfing performances – that may well still prove to be the case but holes 2 to 5 did not much support that theory. However, led by Stuart’s birdie on the 6th, his par on the 7th and my birdie on the 8th we mustered 39 points on the front 9 which we thought would not be sufficient to win, but was at least almost respectable.
On the back 9, Stuart once again led the way, eventually ending up with a contribution of five 3-pointers to our score rather dwarfing Roger’s and my contribution but we ended up with 42 points and felt that could be competitive. That did include my birdie on the 18th and I was disappointed later when I learnt that none of the other Ballbashers had witnessed this feat – not even MikeW who had turned up for lunch but found standing outside in the cold to watch the completions of our rounds was an activity that might endanger his recuperation well before our trio had hoved (heaved? or is it hoven?) into view.
Ah, but I forget the pantomime which was on the 16th and for which we ringside seats in the front stalls. We observed that, up ahead, Bill had put his second shot into the bunker in front of the green and leaving his trolley correctly behind the rope had walked forward with sand-wedge and putter in hand. Climbing down into the bunker, he tossed his putter out to one side and addressed the ball with his wedge. In his defence the bunkers were frozen stiff, you had a snowball’s chance in hell of digging the wedge into the sand behind the ball and thus it was that the beautifully engineered “bounce” in the base of Bill’s wedge resulted in him thinning the ball at the speed of sound across the green to the opposite end to the pin.
Somewhat irritated by this turn of events he returned to his trolley to replace his wedge and retrieve his putter. Standing on the tee behind him, we now saw him extract every club in his bag to find his putter with no success eventually gazing hopefully in our direction perhaps in case he had left it on the tee. “It’s behind you” we all shouted in unison, “Oh no it is n’t” the trees seem to reflect back, “Oh yes it is” was our rejoinder and after a few rounds of this, the penny dropped and Bill trotted back to retrieve his putter where it lay beside the bunker. The Theatre Royal in Windsor could learn a lot from the typical Ballbasher round.
Then came the denouement in the clubhouse where Mike S and Co revealed that they had scored 38 points on the front 9, RobA, Bill and JohnS had 31 and, amazing to us, Stuart, Roger and I had won the front 9 with 39 points. Our confidence now grew but we then discovered that while RobA and Co had scored another consistent 31 and we had 42, MikeS, RobM and Ashley had scored 43 so that we had tied with 81 points each but, their back 9 being one point better than ours, they had won the Ice Bucket on countback. A triumph for them and another triumph for the BB Handicapping System.
The winning team then enjoyed telling one and all how they had screwed up the 18th – I don’t know about you but I always find that sort of tale mildly irritating when you are on the losing side?
It was, all agreed, a thoroughly enjoyable start to golf in 2022 and very hopefully the sign of things to come.
Great effort Richard.