The body is a curious machine, full of wonder and mystery, so I wonder if it is possible that a blow to the lower leg from a golf ball could cause amnesia? And, in turn, could amnesia cause one to completely forget the weekly task of writing a match report and moreover, when sitting down to write it, completely cause one to forget all of the details apart from the blow to the leg?
I want to make it absolutely clear that the blow to my lower right leg from a golf ball was completely my fault. It was n’t actually my ball which struck me on the lower leg but Nick’s. However I had already seen him mishit two shots which both went left down the 1st hole so, when it came to Nick’s 3rd shot, the worst place for me to choose to stand was about 10 yards ahead of him about 3 yards off his line to the 1st green.
The ball flew off the heel of his rescue club and without touching the ground hit me on the shin above the ankle. As we grow older, it is well-known that our reactions grow slower, and so while I did observe that the ball was heading towards me, the brain had insufficient time to orchestrate any evasive manoevres. Luckily we had Dr John in our midst in the group following and so I was able to consult him besides the 2nd green about the large egg which had appeared on my shin. He advised that returning home and applying an ice pack straightaway would reduce the egg more speedily but since the sun was shining and Temple was in excellent condition, continuing my round might have more beneficial results.
And so it proved, for the egg has indeed disappeared taking with it any clear memories of the game itself. I do recall that, apart from Nick, the other member of our 3-ball was MikeS. I also recall that none of us played particularly well and the air was rent with many a cry of “Oh S**t”. Nick was slightly put off his game initially by his first hole misadventures but it was 100% my fault and I made sure over the rest of the round to stand as many yards behind him as I could manage – I am not saying that Player B is incapable of rising to the challenge of hitting the ball backwards, but the chances seemed lower.
When we arrived back in the clubhouse, we were greeted by Stuart in fine form, PeterR who had taken the morning off golf to polish his motorcar ready for a Grand Tour and Bill whose excuse was “I am currently playing s***ty golf” – that’s not a valid excuse as in the circumstances, he would have had lots of company.
We were joined by the other 3-ball – MikeW, JohnS and Alan and scores were exchanged. It transpired that we had won the front 9 but they won the back 9 by sufficient margin to win the overall:
MikeS, Nick and Richard 37 + 34 = 71
MikeW, JohnS and Alan 35 + 37 = 72
As for the Spring Cup, in a low-scoring competition, I managed to retain it via countback over the last 9 holes:
Richard (31), Mike (31), Mike W(30), Alan (28), JohnS (26) and Nick (21).
Some discussion took place led by Stuart who wondered why we bothered to have our full names engraved on the trophies given that their final destination is more likely to be a skip than the trophy cabinet at St Andrews. Some Ballbashers have to fork out more for the engraving than others and each letter is costing more and more each year – luckily we have no Polish members. The traditionalists amongst those present carried the day in favour of some sort of engraving. It is of course up to the winners to decided what they will have engraved – in this case me.
