Stress-free golf at Farnham?

A glorious sunny day today for the Farnham Putter which commemorates the founding of the Ballbashers at Farnham Park in the days when we could not afford more than 6 clubs plus a putter.

Before I turn my attention to the golf I would just like to retract my comments after the Coronation that the ceremony could do with a bit of modernising. This about-face is the result of watching 5 random performances in the highly modernised Eurovision at the weekend – if that’s modernisation then I prefer to be anointed with oil in a tent. They do of course share one thing in common in that they are both great excuses for donning fancy dress – opportunities never to be sneered at.

Six Ballbashers turned up to play and the division into 2 teams of 3 was carried out in the new highly democratised, scrupulously-invigilated method whereby, after I threw the balls into the air, Alan was invited to choose the groupings. Everyone seemed happy with this process and there were no points of order raised. Nick, Bill and I formed one team and MikeW, Alan and JohnT formed the other.

Alan, of course, normally only carries 7 clubs and a putter with him so reducing that to 6 clubs plus putter should have been quite straightforward. Unfortunately he had forgotten that this was a requirement of today’s play and, when reminded at the practice putting green, he made a snap decision and grabbed the sand wedge out of his bag and returned it to his car boot. He declared that he rather hoped that he would not go into any bunkers today but unfortunately golf’s not like that, and what you rather hope might not happen generally does. I know that Alan went into the first bunker on the first hole and several thereafter but I have no idea which of his remaining clubs he attempted to get out of the bunker with – I suspect that by the end of the round he had tried them all and his final score perhaps reflected his frustration with this state of affairs.

Speaking personally I quite enjoy this reduced choice. By the end of the front 9 I had only used 4 of my 6 clubs and had scored 18 points. I did eventually use the other 2 clubs generally to ill-effect and wondered why I normally take 14 round with me. I particularly enjoyed not miss-hitting my 3-wood – this normally occurs about 3 times out of 4. I was using my 7-wood which, in theory, does not go so far but I only miss-hit it once out of 4 shots so the aggregate distance the balls goes is better. We have to be born optimists to play golf but I do wonder if I should now bow to incontrovertible evidence and leave the 3-wood at home or perhaps even sell it.

For some reason unknown to him, Nick had brought along a putter which he rarely uses. It is not old but it has failed to supplant his favourite putter. Today he must have felt sorry for the club and the time it spends sitting on the substitute’s bench. Unfortunately it did not reward his generosity and either hit the ball too hard or too soft with not much in between. If you want to pick up a lightly used bargain putter, I suggest you look in the classifieds nest week – it might work for you, putters are like that.

Bill’s renaissance continues apace. As we came off the 18th, he remarked to me that he had actually enjoyed himself on the golf course – it has to be at least 5 years since I heard him say that. His cup totally floweth over when, not only did he win 3 BashCoins thereby avoiding being the first Ballbasher to have a half-century of BashCoin debit, but he also won the LONGEST DRIVE competition with a drive which had crept 6 inches onto the fairway but had the absolutely essential characteristic of being on the fairway and not in the rough. To cap it all he came 3rd in the competition. Even the slightly dry chicken goujons tasted good.

The weather was kind to us all the way round and we even enjoyed refreshments outside on the patio afterwards.

The denouement revealed that nobody had managed to reach the 2nd green in one shot for the NP prize, only Bill had put a drive onto the fairway for the LD and only I had managed to get the ball onto the 18th green in 2 shots for the NPin2.

Team-wise the scores were:
Nick, Bill and Richard: 36 + 32 = 68
MikeW, Alan and JohnT: 33 + 24 = 57

The Putter scores were:
Richard (32), MikeW (29), Bill (25), JohnT (22), Nick (20) and Alan (17).

We all then went off to help or hinder JohnT in his effort to get some air into one of his front tyres on his latest BMW acquisition. Apparently it is supposed to be a run-flat tyre but it is so low profile it is difficult to tell just how flat it was, but nothing entertains Ballbashers quite so much as the opportunity to give of their hard-won 60 years of motoring experience and what they used to do with their girl-friend’s stockings to keep their old jalopy on the move. Nobody could work out exactly what units of pressure the rather sleek air-pump was displaying but demonstrating a) that he was confident in his new knee and b) that he knew a thing or two about cars, MikeW gave the tyre a hefty kick and told John that it should be good enough to get him home or at least out of the car park. What happened next only time will tell.