My step-grandfather, who was a tad younger than my father it has to be said, used to enjoy a game of football in our back-garden when he came to visit. I was a young teenager at the time so this was about 65 years ago (just post-Jurassic). I enjoyed these games too but his enthusiasm totally waned when I shoulder-barged him into the hedge. This story is just to forewarn those of you who have yet to be on the receiving end of growing grandchildren’s physical abilities.
It is unfortunately too late to warn Nick who suffered a pulled calf muscle when playing football with his grandson in the back garden. Nick claims that this occurred when he was trying to do one of those ignominious doomed-to-failure Bruno Fernandes hop, step and jump type penalty shots but I suspect that he does n’t like to admit that he was felled by Oscar’s Nobby Styles-like sliding tackle.
But he arrived to play at Temple in a buggy warning that he may not finish the round. In reality he was hitting the ball so much straighter and further off the tee than when in normal fully-fit condition that he easily stayed the course. As did Mike W who decided to attempt to walk the full 18 holes for the first time since his new hip and who ended the day over the moon having done so.
The 4th member of our combo was Alan who was showing us all up by carrying his clubs. We decided that a supposedly fit golfer should be paired with each of the walking or buggy-riding wounded so Alan played with Mike and I played with Nick. As always opinion was evenly divided on the 1st hole as to whether it is better to go way left or way right of the fairway but we all met again on the green and battle was joined.
The first 4 holes were strewn with mistakes by all of us and we arrived on the 5th tee tied on 7 points each team. At this point Alan went into overdrive and scored 13 points on the next 4 holes including a 4 for 4 on the 6th which resulted from a very narrow miss of a 3 for 5. Nick was playing very well at this stage and his latest putting lesson had him carefully lagging his putts up to the edge of the hole thus greatly reducing the strain on him and his partner. However we could n’t compete with Alan and he and Mike reached the turn with 22 points to our 20.
Nick and I then hit excellent drives on the 10th to finish just short of the crater while Mike and Alan were all over the place. Sadly we wasted this opportunity to close the gap and we all finished with 5 for 1. Because the pin was in the back left-hand corner I had decided for the, what I fondly imagined, was the low-risk route of the high wedge approach. Unfortunately this decision did not take into account the unlikely possibility of thinning the ball which, of course, I proceeded to do. The ball then shot through the crater to finish about the same distance up the opposite hill as it had started on my side. I hope to remember in future, the mental note that I made, not to try that approach again.
On the 11th hole Alan managed to hit his second shot into the revolving blades of a large mower that was working on the semi-rough on the opposite side of the fairway. Since both halves of his ball appeared in the cup, I imagine that he had come prepared with a tube of araldite or some such. The contest was becoming quite fierce – I was even questioned on just how low my knee had gone when exercising a free drop to avoid standing in sprinkler head. As far as I know there is nothing in the rules specifying how low your knee can go – if you had very short arms and very long legs, you might have to kneel on the ground to get your hand lower than your knee.
After we completed the 14th, Nick decided that the time had come to distract the opposition and fell prone upon the ground. Alan very kindly stood back to take the video while Mike and I managed to lever Nick into an upright position. I hope to post the video so that all can marvel at Mike and my efforts. Nick had already found that getting the ball out of the hole was beyond him and I was deputed to do this for him – I only hope that this does not become a standard obligation. The falling-down trick seemed to have no effect on Alan and Mike (lack of empathy perhaps?) and we reached the 16th tee all-square on the back 9.
Nick and I missed very simple putts to win the 16th and moreover, Alan out-scored us so we fell behind and this was compounded on the 18th when they both scored 4 for 3 points versus my 4 for 2 points and so they won the back 9 by 21 to 19 and the match by 43 to 40. A very high-scoring and tight game which was enjoyed by all of us despite the very cool wind which perpetually blew in our faces.
As always we enjoyed a pleasant meal in the clubhouse during which Nick showed great fortitude by not having a couple of slices of the sponge cake as he is apparently on a diet. Given the weight that Mike and I had had to raise off the ground earlier, this is probably a sensible strategy in case it has to be done again.
As far as the league game was concerned, Alan won with 37 points followed by Richard (34) and Nick and Mike (29). The latter score showing that Mike is well on the way back to full competitive condition.
