Last updated on May 24, 2025
It was the second round of the Eclectic today and 11 out of the 12 BBs fit enough to play turned up at Farnham despite the dodgy weather forecast. The missing 12th fit BB was RobA who was apparently in Spain, hopefully not in Bilbao. But included in the 11 fit BBs was JohnH who was playing his first game for about 100 years. He decided right at the start to only play the first 9 holes and, in doing so, proved to me, at least, that he must be my lucky mascot of which more anon.
The balls were thrown and fell so as to group MikeS and PeterR playing with RobM and Roger who were followed by the second group of MikeW paired with JohnS playing with Alan and Bill. The 3rd group was a 3-ball of Nick, JohnH and myself.
The story of what happened next starts on Tuesday when, having spent a couple of hours going up and down a 10ft triangular based ladder with a 9ft long hedge-trimmer in my hand which I was waving around over the top of our very tall hedges, I ended up with my back in spasm – something which last occurred 5 years ago but you tend to forget that history until you do it again.
I decided this morning that, dosed up with paracetamol, and playing very carefully, I would see if I could struggle round the course – after all you do not want to let the others get too far ahead if you want to be competing in the Eclectic.
So I reduced my back-swing to half its normal range and attempted to swing very slowly. The result of this strategy was truly amazing as almost every ball went straight and in the direction I was aiming. The fact that the greens were probably running at about 25% of the speed they were last week at Temple also helped me because I normally bang the ball about a mile beyond the pin but now it was stopping stone dead by the pin.
The stardust arrived on the 3rd which I birdied and then followed that with a birdie on the 4th, par on the 5th, birdie on the 7th and par on the 8th. On the 9th tee, Nick pointed out to me that, should I par the 9th, I would have gone round the front 9 in a gross 35 shots = scratch. I was on the green in 2 but misjudged the downhill putt and ended up 3-putting for a gross 36 shots which was n’t too bad but it was a bit like coming 2nd in the Masters.
But what turned out to be bad news for me was that JohnH did as he intended and left at this point. My game then fell apart relatively speaking and my time in the Elysian Golfing Fields was over, probably never to be seen again as I once again revert to taking a mighty swing trying to emulate Rory’s 185mph with no control over where the ball goes (bit like Rory as well). The connection was obvious – I need JohnH’s calming influence.
Nick and I were now a 2-ball and soon caught up with the 4-ball in front of us but Alan, being of polite golfing stock, took pity on us and persuaded his team-mates to let us through on the short 14th. I am pleased to report that both Nick and I managed to complete that hole in 4 shots apiece thereby proving how right Alan was, and we went speeding on our way.
This turned out to have another advantage in that we reached the clubhouse before the deluge struck whereas Alan and Co got severely caught in it on the 18th.
It used to be the case back in the days when Ballbashing was invented at Farnham in approximately 1989CE that the post-round food of bangers, chips and brown sauce in a basket was the highlight of the late afternoon when we played. How sad it was to discover today that they no longer had a chef because Slough District Council is trying to sell the golf course plus 10 football pitches and costs are being pinched. The choice we had was between sandwiches of mustard and ham or else chutney with something cheese-like colour-wise. Nick had the mustard sandwich and it nearly reduced him to tears as he dealt with mouth-full of 200% Colman’s best.
The course itself was in excellent condition and the first 9 holes in particular looked great (that might be my rose-tinted glasses). To all intents and purposes we had the course to ourselves which was strange because it used to be very crowded but maybe the club element has gone elsewhere with the sale being in process.
We shall be back in 3 weeks time for the Farnham Putter and I am thinking that some inappropriate hedge-cutting might be a good idea the day before.
Teams scores based on only including 3-pointers and above, divided by the number of players in the team, were as follows. The trio won the overall contest by just 0.67.
MikeS and PeterR 5 + 4.5 = 9.5
RobM and Roger 8 + 4.5 = 12.5
MikeW and JohnS 5 + 3 = 8
Alan and Bill 1.5 + 3 = 4.5
JohnH, Nick & Richard 8.67 + 4.5 = 13.17
The Eclectic Table will be updated asap.
It was a pleasure, dare I say honour, to be in the same group as Richard and to watch him play some truly excellent golf. I’m sure one over scratch for the first 9 (or second 9) holes is a BB record – a score that back in the “bangers chips & brown sauce” days would have seemed totally impossible for any Ballbasher to achieve. There was no luck involved, just brilliantly executed shots and very steady putting. Well done!
Richard. The scores for our 4-ball were incorrectly posted, probably due to the fact that my shameful muttering of the damage could not overcome the cheering of the crowds celebrating your front nine. The truth is:
MikeW/JohnS = 5 and 3 = 8 total
Alan/Bill = 1.5 and 3 = 4.5 total.
I doubt this changes the Bashcoin allocation but I’d rather the record be straight before Mike and John post an objection.