From our correspondent:
“According to Google AI it was Terry Pratchet who said, “…it’s true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they’re doing it for the best.” Worth keeping in mind as one peruses what follows.
Seven Ballbashers turned up for our 4th Summer League game at Temple with the teams being selected on the basis of buggy usage. The three “walkers”, Alan, Mike W, and Rob M, set off as Team 1 and the four buggy users – Roger & Nick and Mike S & Bill – formed themselves into Teams 2 & 3 respectively.
After a problematic game the last time we played at Temple – where there was justified criticism by the first group of BBs out on the course that the second group of BBs had taken far too long to complete their round, leading to them arriving at the clubhouse over three full holes behind the first group and seriously cocking-up the chances of a relaxed, convivial BB lunch – the buggy boys in Teams 2 & 3 had one over-riding objective: keep right behind Team 1 and, under no circumstances, allow them to move more than a full fairway ahead.
The first five holes saw us admirably following our plan, with no particularly adverse impacts on our normal scoring (both good & bad), coupled with a satisfying feeling that we were doing our best to ensure that both BB groups would finish in suitably close proximity.
Until… it became obvious that two 2-balls were rapidly catching us up, forcing us to solve a conundrum: should we invite the first 2-ball to play through and thereby run the risk of dropping at least a hole behind Team 1 while also running the risk of having to do this a second time later in the round or, should we try to keep ahead of the first 2-ball by increasing our speed of play? And, while debating this very point on the edge of the 6th green, a ball launched by the first 2-ball proceeded to bisect Roger & Nick.
Clearly, they wanted to come through so, before we teed off on the 7th, we invited them to do so and were surprised by their firm response that they didn’t wish to. At which point two more problems reared their heads: firstly, two, possibly more, of the buggy group have failing eyesight and, secondly, two, possibly more, have no idea how far their shots are likely to go. Undaunted by these disabilities we continued to try to hit our balls as far as we could as we attempted to keep on the coat-tails of Team 1 while avoiding having to interact with a particularly curmudgeonly player in the 2-ball following us.
Difficult, but a job well done, or so we thought, until we drove up to the 11th tee to warn Team 1 about the 2-ball situation behind us and were met with an extremely rare sight… an absolutely livid Alan. Apparently, in our attempts to keep up we’d hit three shots much longer than expected and, as things turned out, straight at him, forcing him to dodge them in various directions. Faced with this wholly understandable criticism of our potentially dangerous play the buggy group had a quick conflab after which Roger & Nick drove ahead in their white flag flying buggy to meet Team 1 on the 12th tee in order to extend their sincere apologies, which were duly accepted. Returning to their group Roger & Nick then proceeded to score a combined total of 1 point over the next 4 holes… whether this was a result of the serious dressing-down they’d received is open to conjecture.
All of which illustrates the problems associated with slow play or, in this case, the fear of it. Age has made us slower and more erratic, and we’re all taking more shots than we used to which means that our rounds are taking longer. Worrying about taking longer than we should can only be counter-productive to our scores and, much more importantly, to our enjoyment of our rounds.
As Richard has pointed out before, slow play and its impacts are one of the major threats the Ballbashers face. But, as we know, simply saying that we need to speed up hasn’t worked in the past and, despite best intentions, is unlikely to work in the future. Other solutions to the problem such as increasing the number of purely team games we play (thereby allowing players to pick up if they can’t contribute to the team score on a hole) and, dare I say, even abandoning the league formats with their emphasis on individual Stableford scores need to be considered.
Anyway… on to the scores:
Team 3 – Mike S, Bill: 20 + 19 = 39
Team 1 – Alan, Mike W, Robert M : 17 + 21 = 38
Team 2 – Roger, Nick: 16 + 12 = 28
Individual Scores:
Alan – 32, Mike W – 29, Mike S – 26, Bill – 24, Robert M – 24, Roger – 21, Nick – 20
Weather: bright with the occasional slightly depressing dark cloud.
Lunch: convivial and relaxed.”
I think the use of the term “absolutely livid” is too strong – having observed things first hand I’d describe it in Glaswegian terms as “a touch grumpy”.
Whomever wrote this week’s correspondence must be congratulated for a job very well done. Only comment is I’d welcome more punch – as was delivered by reknowned war correspondents Churchill and Boris – on the justified altercation rendered by this week’s winner. Now I know the true meaning of SIR.