RobM talks to the birds at Temple.

It was a day of miracles (small m) at Temple on Wednesday. For a start the sun was shining as we gathered in front of the Pro’s shop and, not only that, there was no early morning mist to delay the start of play and finally 7 Ballbashers turned out to share this good luck – not bad for December. Another miracle (slightly larger m) occurred later in the day but of that more anon.

It was the final match in the Autumn League series and three players were in with a chance of winning the league – MikeS (in the lead with one hand on the trophy), MikeW and myself. It was just about the case that winning on the day was essential to overtake MikeS and he needed to win to ensure that neither MikeW or myself did.

The balls were thrown and Bill, MikeW & Stuart formed the starting 3-ball to be followed by MikeS & RobA and RobM and myself. For the ball-toss to choose these teams, RobM gave me a golf ball which seemed to be covered by shafts of colour looking like several intersecting meteor showers – he said that it resembled his brain – no-one present seemed disposed to correct this assertion.

The 3-ball sent 3 respectable drives down the 1st fairway and set off and then we followed suit. I always think that a par on the 1st hole is one of the easiest possibilities on the course and if the day has a chance of turning out reasonably then that is the start you must look for. The 2nd hole is the polar opposite and the 3rd hole is somewhere between those two. So a satisfactory start has 3 points, followed by 1 followed by 2 = 6 points in total and playing to handicap. And indeed this is what happened.

I was placing my ball on the Par 5 4th tee when I became aware of a bird singing very loudly and tunefully in the trees just behind me. RobM heard it too and he said – “that’s an omen, you are going to get a birdie on this hole”. I have never birdied the 4th and with a very wet and muddy fairway, this did not seem a likely outcome so something like “fat chance” I replied.

My drive was respectable – over the cross-fairway ridge and still on the fairway. My second was a horrible thinned swerving 3-wood which came to rest on the top left lip of the fairway bunker 150 yards from the hole. Rob and I exchanged views on the distinct unlikelihood of a birdie from this position. But I held my 7-wood down the shaft and struck the ball so that it soared away into the sky – the sun was in our eyes but I think that there was every possibility that the bird in the woods was carrying it onwards and onwards until it dropped onto the green and rolled to within 8 feet of the pin. I do not know who guided the putt so that it curved straight into the middle of the hole but a birdie it was. The whole episode was like a golfer’s Christmas story with a happy ending.

No more tinsel for the rest of the round but RobM and I meshed well with our contributions to the team score and halfway round we had a 6 point lead over our immediate competition. MikeS is beset by construction problems and I think it affected his golf because he was not his normal reliable self especially on the back 9 when he was awaiting a call from yet another building surveyor. The golfing gods of course gave him a par on the 18th to ensure that he would return for more torment next week.

A jolly lunch in the clubhouse ensued in which we learnt that Bill had lived for 6 months in Chile in his early working life. We never found how he got there from Hawaii – perhaps he did a Kon-Tiki in reverse or maybe a surfing manoeuvre went askew and he crossed the Pacific on his board?

The team scores revealed a clean sweep for RobM and myself:
Bill, MikeW & Stuart 17 + 16 = 33
MikeS & RobA 16 + 15 = 31
Richard & RobM 22 + 20 = 42

As for the league, it turned out that my bird-assisted round was good enough to win the day and thereby the league:
Richard (35), RobM (31), MikeW (30), MikeS (26), Bill (24) and Stuart & RobA (21).

Happy Christmas everyone and may many birdies adorn your score-cards in 2026!