It was the penultimate game in the Eclectic Series today and 5 optimistic Ballbashers turned up intent (in some cases) on improving their chances of capturing Marilyn for the next 12 months. They were joined by Peter Rendle, a guest of MikeW’s, who had flown in from LA to play an annual game of golf with a couple of MikeW’s old basketball-playing chums. At about 6ft 3in PeteR certainly looked the part and his handicap of 15 and long languid swing looked and proved to be quite dangerous for his opposition who comprised Bill, PeterR and myself.
When someone is playing off 15 the term “ringer” does not seem very fair so we didn’t say it, but when we found out over lunch that he owned a 65 bay driving range in LA we might have thought it.
MikeW and PeteR were joined by Stuart to complete their 3-ball and, as usual in an eclectic game, the team comp was based on the total number of 3 and 4-pointers scored by each team. We have got very used to being too hot playing golf recently and, as usual, we all turned up in shorts but we soon found that there was a very chilly breeze whistling round the crantocks and little sign of the promised sunny periods to alleviate the pain.
The major hazard getting in the way of us playing our normal high quality straight-down-the-middle golf was the terrain we were playing on. It was a bit like playing at Heathrow except that the concrete runways, rather than being flat, were cocked up at all sorts of angles intent on deviating all golf balls from their required line. If you have been to Rejkyavik in Iceland you may have seen on your way into the city from the airport a golf course threading its way through a rugged lava field – now I am not saying that Temple quite matched that level of difficulty but it was definitely the case that although we gained a lot of ground from the run of the ball, it was only a lucky coincidence if this happened to be towards the target green.
I turned up equipped with a list of the holes on which I had banked 2 points so far and needed to turn into 3. As it happened they were all on the front 9 and the first one of these was the second hole where after narrowly avoiding the left-hand fairway bunkers and hitting a 3-wood up to the right, I was left with a little wedge shot to the green. When the heel of the club hit the hard-pack and turned the face leftwards which pushed the ball off the cliff on the left-hand side of the green, I almost realised that this was not the day for wedges. My subsequent multiple attempts to hit a soft lob wedge up onto the green totally rammed this point home and thereafter I resorted to Mike Smith’s favourite shot – the very long-range putt, with which I gained some success. It would have been a good day for a 2-club competition based on a driver and a putter.
We banked 19 points on the front 9 which we correctly guessed would not be enough but it did include a 4-pointer by Bill on the downhill 8th. This had been one of my targets but what I thought was a beautiful drive in the right direction overshot the green and the opportunity was lost.
On the 15th hole we encountered another very long 6cm diameter hosepipe laid along the ground to stop your well-struck drives and even second shots disappearing through the woods onto the A404. It very definitely does its job as Peter and I witnessed when we saw Bill’s second shot thud into it and stop dead, and the entire 3-ball behind us had the same experience. It strikes me that this facility could be useful on all holes and it would certainly speed the game up and negate the need to cut the rough at all – it’s an OAP’s version of the bumpers they get out for children’s parties at 10-pin bowling rinks.
Despite playing on concrete we banked another 24 points on the back 9 and felt confident that this would be competitive – silly fools.
PeterR and Bill had been forced to walk rather than use a buggy and we whistled round the course in 3½ hours which is much faster than normal. I think this is due to the amount of time taken by getting into and out of a buggy with creaking knees, finding a club from the right bag on the back and negotiating the invisible lay lines which constrain the buggy’s movements.
We retired into the clubhouse to get a bit warmer and were joined by the 3-ball and another couple of MikeW’s old basketball-playing chums – not quite as lean as I dare say they were in their prime but no doubt a formidable combo back in the day. One of them was recovering from an Achilles heel problem incurred when playing tennis which made Stuart feel a bit better. He had flown in from New Zealand for this annual game of golf – certainly puts any green fee we grumble about paying into the shade!
When the team scores were announced we were pleased to discover that they had scored the same as us on the front 9 but, for some reason, it was discovered that they had only included 2 of their qualifying scores on any hole and their adjusted scores gave them a solid victory rather than a draw:
MikeW, PeteR and Stuart 22 + 30 = 52
Bill, PeterR and Richard 19 + 24 = 43
The total Stableford points scored by each team was quite close at 93 – 86 but those 7 points gave them 3 more 3-pointers than us. All-in-all a very enjoyable day during which any discussions about wealth or mansion taxes were tucked well away out of sight for the good of everyone’s blood pressure.
