The latest Mandeville/Campin novelty format resulted in a day enjoyed by everyone at Temple today. It helped that the weather was perfect for Spring golf – not too hot like last week nor too cold like the week before and the showers promised by Louise at the BBC never materialised. And as a bonus we were joined by JohnH who decided it was time to emerge from his tent and join in the fray. JohnS also gave up his second hibernation spell which was enforced by too early an emergence being met with serious hail showers 3 weeks back.
There were 9 of us playing in three teams of 3. The team selection was done with the help of Lego bricks to produce relatively even handicaps across the teams which turned out to be Alan, Bill & Richard followed by MikeS, JohnS & RobM who were in turn followed by MikeW, JohnH and Nick.
What about the format I hear you say. Well each team was given an identical yellow ball carefully and distinctively marked. Each player in the team took turns to play with the yellow ball in a sequence decided in the first 3 holes. The Stableford score attained by the player with the yellow ball was doubled on each hole. If anyone had gained a Ferret by sinking the ball from off the green and getting a nett par in the process, then they could add 1 point to their score. If they achieved the same feat from out of a bunker then they could add 2points. After making these calculations the top 2 scores on the hole were multiplied together to get the team score.
As an extra touch we played off the Green Tees which come with their own scorecard with different stroke indexes to the Yellow Tees – this causing some debate between team members when one of them forgot this and reverted to the Yellow Tee stroke indexes. Our group managed this part of the problem but I think that Alan and Bill would have played off the yellow tees several times if I had not invited them to join me on the green tees instead.
Since we only had one yellow ball per team, the first priority was not to lose it. We were fortunate in that we decided Alan would play it on the 1st and not myself because, for the second week in a row I lost my ball – last week it had gone straight down the middle before disappearing but this week I yanked it hard left into the boondocks where it disappeared without trace – I blame spending too much time watching Rory at the weekend with no correction from hitting 47 shots down the practice range. Anyway my 2 partners played solidly to post 12 points.
In what proved to be typical of the day we then spent several minutes grappling with the 2 times table – out there we had neither a spreadsheet nor an underling to help with this complex arithmetic last used by us some 70 years ago at primary school and as a result our scorecard does resemble the work of a totally confused 8-year old. However, unlike the other 2 teams, we did at least record the whole basis of our calculation (mathematicians amongst you will remember the frequent nag from our teachers to write down our workings). The other 2 teams failed in this respect thereby rendering impossible any format of auditing as to how they scored 32 points on one hole, however trust is a key element of playing golf and no insinuation should be drawn from my carping on this issue.
Onwards we went making super-sure to watch where the yellow ball went – this was not helped by Temple’s first cut being a cloud of bright yellow dandelions but somehow everyone managed to reach the clubhouse without losing their ball though RobM demolished an acre of stinging nettles on one hole to find his. We had no idea what a competitive score might be but we happy with our 76 points on the front 9.
On the back 9 we did rather better, helped by scoring 2 ferrets in what could only be described as acts of banditry. On the 16th hole, which was reduced to 150 yards off the green tee, I managed to thin my tee-shot all the way along the ground into the bunker at the front of the green. My thinned bunker shot hit back of the bunker and went vertically like a rocket 20 feet into the air before dropping down on the green to finish 10 feet below the pin just off the green. From here I sunk the putt to claim a par and a ferret.
Bill’s ferret on the 17th also contained a touch of banditry. The green tee was set so far forward that our drives finished where our 2nd shots normally do. Bill played 3 good shots to finish off the green at the back from where his thinned chip travelling just below the speed of sound struck the pin bang in the middle and wedged itself into the hole. Unfortunately neither Bill nor I was in charge of the yellow ball on these occasions so we did not get the ultimate scoring benefit unlike MikeW who, on the 7th, when playing the yellow ball, scored a 4 for 4 involving a ferret which gave him 5 doubled to 10. His team-mates could only manage a single point each on this hole otherwise their team score would have required calculus to add up.
Back in the clubhouse everyone was in very good spirits having had a jolly time and having showed once again what a dab hand with a 2 times table they were.
Anticipating what is about to happen on the other side of the Pond we discussed whether or not our King could lose his temper. Our Royal correspondent opined that he thought it perfectly possible and it might have been better to stay at home. Conversation then drifted off into the days of yore when some of the elder Ballbashers recalled the day in Portugal when the Ryder Cup was won by a team scoring 81 points on the 18th hole on the last day in a multiplier format game.
The team scores were:
MikeW, Nick & JohnH 96 + 114 = 210 (won all of the BashCoins)
Alan, Bill & Richard 76 + 104 = 180
MikeS, JohnS & RobM 72 + 96 = 168 (only team to score a blob on a hole)
We will no doubt do something similar again.
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